One Last Time

At the beginning of the year I remember looking at the calendar and thinking this year is going to take forever. I was thinking how am I ever going to make it through this year time is going to go by so slow. As I started making friends and getting a feel for the culture the time started to pick up. This place that once felt nothing like home soon began to feel like my new home. It was a slow process getting to know people and to feel welcome but over time we started to build up friendships and a new home.

            I can’t even begin to describe to people how this year was for me. I can honestly say that this was one of my hardest and most rewarding years. Going through your first year of teaching in a new country where English is not the first language was not always an easy thing. I remember times where I would get so frustrated at my students for speaking in Samoan during class. As my Samoan improved I slowly understood that my students were just translating for the students who did not understand what I was saying. They also chose to have little side conversations that had nothing to do with class and got mad when I would explain in English that I know the basics of what they are talking about and it has nothing to do with your math homework. My students at the beginning of the year were complete strangers but by the end of the year turned into my family. They know so much about me and I know so much about them. I wouldn’t have changed that either I am really going to miss seeing them all the time. Even though school has been out for almost a week I still get to see my student outside at some point throughout the day.

            The feeling that I have right now I wish upon no one. The only way that I can describe it is as a rollercoaster of emotions. I feel like my heart is getting torn out. I have to say goodbye to my students who have had my back all year and when I really needed them they were always there to help me. I have to say goodbye to the people of this village who have been so helpful towards. People have brought food over multiple times, given us rides to town and simply just came over to the house to check on us and chat with us. I remember at the beginning of the year I felt like such a stranger here. Now I never get that feeling. When I am walking through the village people are always saying hello or when we go to town all the people from the village always wave and talk to us. This is what I am going to miss seeing all these people all the time. Finally I have to say goodbye to the two people who helped me get through this year. I would have never survived this year without Dana. She is the only one the truly understands the struggle of this year we have been through so much together. We have both heard each other just screaming at our students and we have stood on the counters screaming because we have had two rats running around our house. I also wouldn’t have survived the year without my boyfriend Lusi. He helped me in so many ways possible when I needed to stuff from town or simply just someone to vent to on bad days. I have gone almost this whole year without spending a full twenty-four hours away from these people. I am not real sure how I am going to survive leaving. Every time that I hear that plane take off I get tears in my eyes because I know soon that I will be on that plane. I am not even emotionally ready to go down to the boat and watch all my students and friends slowly drift away. Then comes my next feeling excitement. I have not seen my friends and family from back home in over ten months. I cannot wait to see them and hug them. I can’t believe that I have gone this long without them.

            One of the big things that I have taken away from this year is that we really have no control over what is going to happen next in our lives. We can plan and prepare as much as we want but God always sends us a curveball that always seems to catch us off guard. I also learned that everything happens for a reason and you just have to trust the process and believe that everything is going to work out. So even though I am leaving here brokenhearted I know that God brought me hear to make me stronger and a better person. He also taught me to trust him. As I have so much fear in my mind about what is going to happen next with me I also have peace because I know its going to work out it always does. As of right now I still have not heard about my contract with the DOE. As much as I would love to know before I leave I have my doubts that I will know. Everything here happens at a slow pace and so I just have to be patient. I have also talked to multiple people about this and they said not to worry about it you will be back. So hoping that all goes smoothly and I find out somewhat soon that I will be coming back next year!

With Love,

Abby 

P.S. I have one more blog coming I am not quite finished with it!